Final pictures..

Well. Today has been tough. I truely feel guilty. But about yesterday. My mom had called and told me he wasn't realy moving well and wasn't getting up to use the litter box. I told her to take towels and such and out them in the bathtub and lie him in there. She did with food and water too. When i got there i said hi he looked up all bright eyed and wimpered then purred. I cleaned up the gunk around his eyes and such. I wrapped him in towels like a baby and took him to the vet. I knew when i saw him. I also needed to hold him and the carier is so impersonal at times. He did move to try to look out the window in the car. My mom help him why I drove. When i carried him in he just looked around and purred and suggled as I scratched him. Anyone who looked over toward him knew he was sick. The dr came out of the room before we went over and looked over , I saw the look on his face. I think he knew what was going to happen in his next apt. we got into the room I got him comfy on the table and he tried to move and was so wobly he almost fell off. The nurse saw this as well. The Dr and nurse were awsome. He felt around looked at his gums and such. Said his rt kidney is very inflamed. We can do blood work but.. It would just be for you confirmation. I had read online about some of his symptoms and that was what I read. The kidney stuff. So I said, no we should just put him down. I did ask if there was anything to be done and he was like" a kidney transplant" But i knew there was nothing. So I signed the papers and did all the lovely things. The vet gave hom some very yummy wet food for a treat/ last meal while I took care of the paperwork outside. I had them wait till I was in the room to give the shot. Normally they do I IV in the arm. With butterscotch being dehydrated they couldnt. They gave hom a shot in the tummy. Normally withing 5-10 min the animal is gone. They go to sleep first because of the anistesia then just pass. So they gave him the shot and he started to purr realy loud. he had been quiet up until then in the office room. So I held him and said I am sorry and i loved him and he fell asleep. The dr kept checking on him and I could see him breathe. After about 10 min he had me put him on the table snf listen to his heart. It was still beating. So he gave him another shot. about 5 or so minutes later he was gone. I knew it too. I knew when it was over. The dr came ack in and I said " he's gone" he said you are right.
He and the nurse also said I did the right thing. It was brave of me to stay with him till the end. And it was nice that I did it. I now feel a little guilty. Did the first shot not work because he knew he could fight more. Was he fighting it. or was it him. These are the pictures I took before we went to the vet yesterday. I do miss him. I am planning on doing a rainbow bridge site this weekend. Also Frisky and I talked. He was watching Butterscotch in the tub just sitting guard till I got there. He said Butterscotch was in pain, and was happy to be going with me. We also talked about the blog. Frisky wasn't sure what is was but said he would like to try it. ALso he has the old cell phone too. So I will try and revamp the blog this weekend as well. It is hard....
Thanks to everyone for the thoughts and purrs. It means a ton to me...